This is the song that the album title came from. The last line is “You’re teaching me how to be loved.” And honestly, that is a lot of what God has been doing over the last few years. I have been learning that God is the main character in the Bible, not me. And He’s also the main character in my life, not me. That really changes the stress and pressure I feel. But it also alters my role. If He is the main character in the story, then what does that make me? As awkward as it feels, I think I might be the love interest. Which is uncomfortable, but is actually a very safe place. Unfortunately it’s a role I have no understanding of, or any ability to fill.
So God gave me a wife and kids. And I definitely felt the weight of caring for them and loving them well. But the main thing I’ve learned since then isn’t about loving them, but about being loved BY them. My wife knows me well and has consistently challenged me on receiving love from them. On letting them care for me. And of course, I disagreed and kept trying to carry all of the load. But God finally started showing me that their love for me was a part of His kindness to me. He desired my good, and one of His best gifts is the love of my wife and kids. I started to realize that I had never been good at receiving from anyone. I couldn’t receive from my friends, not even my band guys. I always tried to care for them, but never let them care for me. That kept some distance between us. And some of the good God had for me was missed. I didn’t want to miss that in my family.
And so I’ve been learning how to receive, learning the value of being loved. I am learning that when I am busy in the afternoon and my son asks me to go out in the backyard and play tetherball, I can look at it as him being selfish and not realizing how busy I am. Or I can realize that God has given me a huge gift in that my son, out of all the things in the world, wants ME to come and play with him. He is expressing love and value. He is a gift from God. And that every minute spent playing tetherball is God giving good to me.
It’s still kind of hard to explain. But I hope you enjoy the song, and the record.
Thoughts?
Todd
The incredible interaction between God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is a choreography of giving and receiving love. That’s the way God intended for the relationship to be between himself and human beings when He created us. I like to call it the dance of the Trinity, and we’re invited to the party.
Giving and receiving is the balancing act of love. One without the other is awkward and out of balance.
The lyrics to your song reflect the struggle of most of us. I love the part that says “You’re teaching me how to be loved. You first loved me and that’s redefining everything. All that you are changes all I believe about me.” I so thankful God is teaching me how to be loved, and that He continues to teach me how to love others. And I’m very thankful for what Jenny and your kids have been teaching you. The giving and receiving of love from God and the right people brings healing and changes everything.
Todd,
Quite the thought. I have always struggled to be on the receiving end of love, care, grace, favor, you name it. It is because of the love of a Godly woman, my wife, and of our precious daughter, that I can receive all of this with grace. Most of all, it is because of God’s grace. I have always thought it was my task to love and take care of those around me. I realize it is a two way street.
I have never thought about having to be able to “be loved” before. It seems like it might be a battle for all men cause we’re wired to be the one taking care of others. I would even go as far as to say that most men (especially myself) don’t even grasp the concept of letting others care for them.
interesting thought Bro.
I’m looking forward expectantly to hearing this song. It seems that it falls in with something God’s been revealing to my heart, the way that we are like conduits for his love. On my own I can’t love well enough for even my own needs, and it’s not until I start relying on God’s love, the truth that he loves and is love, that my love can have much value for anyone. Then, despite any circumstances, the fact that God loves a person will be enough for me to love them. In the same way, I often can’t be that conduit until I am willing to let that God-love in. I have to accept his love for me, to take it in and own it, before I can pour it out on others. Sometimes I guess it’s like God’s love flowing straight through me to those who need it, and I think some other times it’s more like who we are changes how that love reaches those it’s destined for. I guess I can only pray for more of this kind of attitude, that God would become, like you said, more of “the main character in my life.” Thanks for sharing this with us, and reinforcing this truth for me. I love how this theme, which is all over God’s word, is also central to this new cd of yours.