This is the song that the album title came from. The last line is “You’re teaching me how to be loved.” And honestly, that is a lot of what God has been doing over the last few years. I have been learning that God is the main character in the Bible, not me. And He’s also the main character in my life, not me. That really changes the stress and pressure I feel. But it also alters my role. If He is the main character in the story, then what does that make me? As awkward as it feels, I think I might be the love interest. Which is uncomfortable, but is actually a very safe place. Unfortunately it’s a role I have no understanding of, or any ability to fill.
So God gave me a wife and kids. And I definitely felt the weight of caring for them and loving them well. But the main thing I’ve learned since then isn’t about loving them, but about being loved BY them. My wife knows me well and has consistently challenged me on receiving love from them. On letting them care for me. And of course, I disagreed and kept trying to carry all of the load. But God finally started showing me that their love for me was a part of His kindness to me. He desired my good, and one of His best gifts is the love of my wife and kids. I started to realize that I had never been good at receiving from anyone. I couldn’t receive from my friends, not even my band guys. I always tried to care for them, but never let them care for me. That kept some distance between us. And some of the good God had for me was missed. I didn’t want to miss that in my family.
And so I’ve been learning how to receive, learning the value of being loved. I am learning that when I am busy in the afternoon and my son asks me to go out in the backyard and play tetherball, I can look at it as him being selfish and not realizing how busy I am. Or I can realize that God has given me a huge gift in that my son, out of all the things in the world, wants ME to come and play with him. He is expressing love and value. He is a gift from God. And that every minute spent playing tetherball is God giving good to me.
It’s still kind of hard to explain. But I hope you enjoy the song, and the record.