Well, I’ve had a headache for about two weeks, off and on, mostly on. It’s definitely been better this week, but it brought some concern to say the least. I went to the doctor and he said he wasn’t really sure what was causing it. He said the only simple thing I could do was to get my eyes checked. Which of course, the only natural reaction to that statement is to assume you’re going blind. Okay, maybe that’s not everyone’s first response but it was mine. Just on the inside. I have always had that secret fear of going blind. So that got me to thinking…
What would my life be like if I was blind? Specifically, what would my spiritual life look like if I went blind? So much of my identity is wrapped up in reading. I study a ton. I love to read the Bible, to read commentaries on the Bible, to read books applying the truth in the Bible, to read novels creatively connecting us with a deeper truth. What if I couldn’t do that? Who would I be? What would happen to my spiritual life? I fear it might grind to a halt. I’ve always been terrible at praying. I know, I know. “Todd, just read A Praying Life. It will change your life.” And I’m sure it will. But so did Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire and Too Busy Not To Pray, among others. And I’m still not very good at it. And I’m not very good at community. Never have been. I’ve read those books too. And I’ve been in the small groups. Just not very good at it. So if I couldn’t read, what would happen to my spiritual life? I think it would suffer.
So I guess I’ll enjoy the reading that I can do now. And keep working on the other things. I will be grateful that the optometrist said my prescription has changed and that might be the cause of the headaches. And I will be grateful that God brought it all to mind. Because even all my learning is just filthy rags compared to His righteousness. My study is nothing compared to His sovereignty. But I still want to learn all I can.
So what do you think? What would drastically affect your spiritual walk?