If you’ve been around me or been to a show in the last year or so, you know
that I’m a part of a Recovery ministry at our church. Now Recovery is a
ministry that you don’t just jump in and lead. You walk through your own
recovery and then share it with others. So I’ve been learning a lot and
growing considerably in my life with God. And I’ve been thinking that’s
probably how ministry is always supposed to work, just a natural overflow
from your own walk. But anyway, to the case in point…
I had hernia surgery yesterday. Right inguinal and umbilical hernia
repairs, to be precise. It was a laproscopy so they went in through my
belly button and an incision a few inches to either side. The surgery went
great. Very grateful for Dr. Meynig and all the staff at Central Park
Surgical Center. So I’m good as new, hernia-wise.
Unfortunately, hernia surgery leaves you almost completely incapable. You
don’t realize how much you use your stomach muscles to do, well, pretty much
everything. To stand. To turn. To sit. To pull. Everything. It’s kind
of humiliating and definitely turns you into a dependent. You are
completely powerless.
Funny how that is the first step in Recovery. And the one I struggled the
most with. But now God is letting me walk through that physically. I have
to depend on my wife for everything. I need her to do the smallest things,
the most embarrassing things. But you know what, I went to bed last night
(and woke up many times during the night) feeling more affection for her
than I ever have. And I love her a lot. But being completely dependent on
her and feeling safe and cared for in that place took my heart to somewhere
new.
And it’s somewhere I think God wants me to be in my relationship with Him as
well. To share everything. To need Him for everything. And to be so
grateful that He does walk through all that with me. Phil 4:16 NEED
Todd
I’m so grateful to hear the hernia surgery went okay, and will continue praying for your complete recovery. But I’m most grateful for the surgery God continues to do in your heart. As I’ve also discovered, the lessons He teaches may be painful at first, but oh my, how amazing is His love and compassion! And I’m sure you’ve already seen how His love is revealed through others, like your lovely Jenny, in ways that melt your heart for them and reflect more of the depths of His heart. I’m thankful for you, my dear brother.
Praying for you my friend 🙂 thanks for sharing. Im so greatful for your life and the wonderful miracles GOD does to bring him GLORY. God Bless You
Slightly disappointed that you weren’t getting a face lift to look like me, but then I realized that there was that small problem of your facial hair. I’m glad you got something useful done instead. 🙂
Fine. I’ll get serious.
What I love about what you say here is that it goes along beautifully with what I am learning about covenant in Kay Arthur’s Covenant study. Your reliance on your wife, as well the need to rely on God, is a perfect picture of the relationship established by your covenants with them. It is so utterly humbling to be that dependent on someone, but when you realize the promise that comes with covenant, you ultimately learn that you can trust the person you are dependent on- whether it be your spouse or God. For me, the beauty of the times when you are forced to admit the need is how perfectly the need is met.
I remember when I’ve had surgery, childbirth, and other things that made me that physically dependent on my husband. I can’t imagine sharing those moments and trusting anyone the way I trusted him. There is a sacredness in that level of need and trust. What continues to blow me away is that even in how deeply I’ve learned to trust my husband, God has shown me that even at it’s deepest form, human trust can never compare to the supreme level of God trust. We can always trust God. He will never let us down.
So glad to hear that surgery went well and that God is using that to show Himself to you in new and different ways. Will continue to pray. Be blessed!
I’m very thankful for how God works in and through you, and I’m also thankful that He’s given you such a wonderful wife. God is good!! You take care of you now, okay?
Hey there Todd! I too have had the same surgery (unfortunately twice after I undid the repair at work) and the word powerless just doesn’t explain the feeling. The pain was not that bad for a surgery, but the inability to move freely was awful. Also easing back into the normal life ( home with 4 kids & work) was difficult at best. Good to hear you are doing well! Keep on plugging away!
I know what a blessing it is to have someone care for you after surgery, as my mom had cared for me after I had an ACL replacement surgery some years ago! I don’t know what I would have done without her help! I remember how it killed just to lift my leg an inch off the ground, I didn’t know if I was ever going to be able to run again, or even walk! The recovery and PT seemed to take FOREVER! I remember how impatient I got at times, as I don’t like to have anyone help me do anything, and I was embarrsed and frusterated to not be able to do the things I used to be able to do. Looking back, the time it took to recover really wasn’t as long as it seemed when I was going through it. I was able to jog again with a brace after a year, and now I run without a brace. Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you that when you are healed and look back, this time of recovery will seem short. It may not be easy to let others help you, but it will help you heal the most completely and rapidly. How beautiful it is that your relationship with Jenny is reminding you of your relationship with the Lord! May God continually bring you healing and bless you both!
That was moving. Now next time you get the urge to be angry at your lovely bride and say something stupid, stop, put your hand on your belly, take a deep breath, and remember these few days and how you feel now, before you speak. 😉
Great word!